Overthinking: we all do it. It’s something that can eat you alive, make you feel like you can’t turn your mind off no matter what you tell yourself. You try everything just to get yourself thinking about something else, and once you’re not thinking about anything important, it all floods back. Girls who overthink will tend to overthink everything in a relationship or everything in the beginning stages of the relationship. Whether it be you not texting us back right away or when you like another girl’s picture, we think it means more than what it could actually mean.
The problem isn’t you; it’s us. We may know exactly how you feel, but that won’t stop us from trying to find reasons why you may not. A lot of this may stem from past relationships where we were being lied to or used. It’s hard after being in a relationship where someone tells you they love you and that you’re the most important thing when they didn’t really mean it, and the sad truth is that experience sticks with us. It almost feels like PTSD but not in the general sense. When you’re with a girl that overthinks, you should always make sure she knows how you truly feel about her.
Don’t lie to her:
I promise you, she’d much rather hear the truth upfront and straightforward when she asks over finding out that you lied on her own. That will only make her problems, thoughts, and anxiety worse. Guys, if you don’t like being lied to, consider how it would feel if your girlfriend lied to you about something and you found out about it later on.
Always tell her the things you love about her:
Whether it be the way she plays with your hair or gives you that back rub at the end of every day, tell her you love that. She wants to know that you notice all the big and little things you do equally and she wants to know that you appreciate them. Always make sure you tell her how beautiful she is and how you love the little quirks that she has.
Don’t get mad when she asks you what seem like pointless questions:
When you like another girl’s picture, it may make her feel like you think this other girl is more beautiful than she is or that you’re with her because that’s what she’s used to. If it bothers her, don’t get mad at her, because she truly can’t help that it bothers her. She’s telling you for a reason. She’s being honest. If she holds it in it’s only going to make her mind go crazy and come up with crazy scenarios that are nowhere near true.
Don’t get mad at her when she asks, “Do you love me?” or “Do you really think I’m beautiful?” She needs reassurance and she needs to always hear how you feel, because it puts her at ease. The thing is, she may know in her heart that you love her, but if she doesn’t always hear it she may think you don’t feel it.
It may be harder for her to open up to you considering how scared she is that something may go wrong. You have to be patient with her. Telling you how she feels may be hard because she could be scared of rejection or she could be scared that you may hurt her. Be patient, but make her feel like she can tell you anything about who she is or how she feels. All she needs is for someone to stick around and understand who she is.
Loving a girl who overthinks can be a struggle at times, but you have to figure out the things that scare her and the things that make her happy. You have to take the time to understand who she really is and what she’s been through to understand the things she does. Love is difficult and scary and wonderful, and all that matters is having someone who loves you for you.