It seems like plenty of guys are more willing to be in a friends with benefits type of relationship with a girl than an actual committed relationship. They always have their excuses, whether it be they’re too busy to have a relationship, or they’re just not ready for a girlfriend, and many other excuses that most of us have heard.
We tell ourselves that maybe if we were different or like other girls that they would want to be with us. We convince ourselves that we aren’t good enough for a relationship, that we aren’t good enough for them or anybody else. We begin to believe that no one will ever love us back or appreciate the things that we do. But that’s not true.
This type of relationship makes girls believe that they are only worth sex, that the guy wants them to act like a girlfriend but they will never actually be good enough to be their girlfriend. He makes you believe that you’re not worth meeting his friends or his family, that no one can know you guys are involved. It can make you feel like you’re an embarrassment. This is where the trust issues, low self-esteem, self-doubt, and every other problem comes into play.
We become scared to let anyone in, and when we do we try to find every reason in the world not to trust them. We find little things that make it seem like we aren’t good enough. For example, the guy liking other girls’ pictures and not yours, or when he doesn’t text us back right away we may think he’s out with someone else. Also, when he tells us how he feels, we doubt him. We believe he’s going to do what the other guys did to us.
It comes to the point where girls will agree to the terms of this relationship only to get hurt in the end. We do this because we believe that if we treat them well and show them how much we care about them, that they’ll give us what we deserve. Us girls have a hard time telling guys when we like them because we’re scared of rejection. We don’t want to experience the pain we’ve experienced plenty of times before. Also, another trend that is noticed is the guy telling you he isn’t ready for a relationship, that it’s not you, it’s him, then weeks or a couple months later, he has a girlfriend. It feels like a punch straight to the stomach; it feels insulting. You start running through all the things that you could’ve done wrong for him to not want to be with you, but the truth is you did nothing wrong, and he was the problem.
The problem is not you. It was his loss. Most of the time, the guys that treated us like we were worthless go find themselves a girl who is about as cold-hearted as he is, someone who wouldn’t think twice about doing something that could hurt him. Guys like that are scared of girls who know what it feels like to be hurt, scared of girls who know what it’s like to love, to care, and who know right from wrong. They’ll only ever be with someone who is like them, because the truth is, we are too much woman for them. If they are with someone who does the things that they do and treats people the way they do, they don’t have to worry about what will happen in the end. It will be easy for them when it ends. Neither person will show any remorse or pain. They’ll just move on.
So to the girl who has been in a friends with benefits relationship, the girl who fell for the guy who wouldn’t give her the commitment and respect she deserved; you are worth so much more. You deserve the world, you deserve someone who would do anything to make you happy, someone who’ll love you no matter what and stick with you through the good times and the bad. You’re worth so much more than secret hook-ups, lies, and feeling like you’re not good enough.
One day someone will come along and make you forget all of the pain and heartbreak that you’ve ever experienced. They’ll show you that it’s okay to trust and open up, that you don’t have to be scared of what’s going to happen. You’ll find someone who will make you their first priority and show you much you mean to them. You’ll find someone that finally sees you’re worth it.